resting.

Jesus, I am resting, resting, in the joy of what Thou art;
I am finding out the greatness of Thy loving heart.
Though has bid me gaze upon Thee,
And Thy beauty fills my soul,
For Thy transforming power, Thou hast made me whole.

O, how great Thy loving kindness,
Vaster, broader than the sea!
O, how marvelous Thy goodness, lavished all on me!
Yes, I rest I Thee, Beloved,
Know what wealth of grace is Thine,
Know Thy certainty of promise, and have made it mine.

Simply trusting Thee, Lord Jesus,
I behold Thee as though art,
Ad Thy love so pure, so changeless, satisfies my heart.
Satisfies my deepest longing,
Meets, supplies its every need,
And surrounds me with its blessing: Thine is love indeed!

Ever lift thy face upon me as I work and wait for Thee;
Resting ‘neath thy smile, Lord Jesus,
Earth’s dark shadows fell.
Brightness of my Father’s glory,
Sunshine of my Father’s face,
Keep me ever trusting, resting, fill me with Thy grace.

the history of love.

"The first language humans had was gestures. There was nothing primitive about this language that flowed from people's hands, nothing that could not be said in the endless array of movements possible with the fine bones of the fingers and writs. The gestures were complex and subtle, involving a delicacy of motion that has since been lost completely.

Naturally, there were misunderstandings. There were times when a finger might have been lifted to scratch a nose, and if causal eye contact was made with one's lover just then, the lover might accidentally take it to be the gesture, not at all dissimilar, for 'Now I realize I was wrong to love you.' These mistakes were heart-breaking. And yet, because people knew how easily they could happen, because they didn't go around with the illusion that they understood perfectly the things other people said, they were used to interrupting each other to ask if they'd understood correctly.

Sometimes these misunderstandings were even desirable, since they gave people a reason to say, 'Forgive me, I was only scratching my nose. Of course I know I've always been right to love you.' Because of the frequency of these mistakes over time the gesture for asking forgiveness evolved into the simplest form. Just to open your palm was to say 'Forgive me'."

The History of Love, Nicole Krauss.

I have asked for forgiveness so many times. And yet, not enough. If forgiveness was only as easy as turning over your empty hand, confessing the emptiness that exists without the pardoning offered from your love. To be kindred spirits, I believe, is to be able to open your hands to one another and know that all is forgiven.

Let us continue to make gestures to one another, continue to attempt to communicate what we think and feel and believe. And then, when we do not understand, let us stop and ask for the missing words. We will stop and seek clarity, because a life without understanding is no life at all.

Saturday afternoon musings.

I just picked up this book at the most fantastic used book sale I've ever perused.

I am shamelessly obsessed with Madmen. Fortunately, the only thing that keeps my obsession under control is the fact that the DC Public Library does not have the fourth season on DVD yet. Though I missed the first few seasons during Primetime, my slow catch-up pace can be intertwined with all discussions/articles/inspirations on and for the show.

Ah, thank you, Don Draper, for giving us numerous ways to express frustration.



And thanks to a little help from Betty Draper, dresses like this are now back in style. Yes, we can wear yellow patterned dresses and not feel juvenile. Thanks, Mango., for helping the Madmen-obsessed channel the styling a little bit easier.



I'm so tempted to read the spoilers. Here's hoping the library or Netflix picks up the next few seasons soon.

sabbath.

I received my diploma in the mail this week.

How very anti-climatic; the piece of paper handed to me by the postal worker. No email, no congratulations, no personal note from a professor to say confirm that I am actually off the hook from any more assignments. No more chapel, no more no more nose ring; no more all-nighters, no more Cedarville curfew.

This little piece of paper carries a lot of weight.

And now I find myself in the big city. A legitimately big city. That little piece of paper tells me that I am now free (FREE!) to choose how to spend my time. I no longer feel bonded that all my free time be dedicated to the pursuit of an 'A'. I no longer feel like I must be involved in every single campus organization. Yes, the Cedarville bubble has popped.

I am entirely exhausted. The last few months have been a whirlwind, and God has answered some crazy prayers in most amazing ways. I was literally in school all the time since 2007. Three years of non-stop schoolwork has finally caught up with me, and I feel like I have to re-learn how to enjoy my free time.

And DC is such a good place to learn to do that. My weeks are full of good food, free concerts, documentary discussions, and many visits to an insanely good public library. I love it here, and I love the lessons I'm learning with the beautiful community at IJM.

Life has slowed; this is the Sabbath I've been anticipating. It is beautiful, and I really give the credit to God for ordaining it. IJM is an awesome place to work; I've already learned so much professionally and organizationally. More than that, though, my faith is challenged every day as I am forced to live out my love of Christ in this new work-- for my coworkers and for our clients around the world. Christianity takes on a whole new meaning as I team with other believers to fight for justice and peace for the poor. Beautiful, humble, and entirely talented individuals who know the work they do carries more significance than this world can give.

Thank you, Cedarville for finally setting me free. Thank you to God for these new opportunities, for being ironic, and listening to my pleas. Thanks to my friends for seeing me through all of the ups and downs and reassuring me of the path I've chosen.

Happy Valentine's. May you find love.

joy and peace to the world.

Happy Christmas Eve. Tomorrow we will celebrate the crux of Christianity-- God coming to earth. To our earth, into our world. God Emmanuel takes on a new meaning through the coming of this man, as he now has walked in the ways of the world and experienced our same struggles.

This was my second year of celebrating Advent. Though I do not like over-ritualized acts of worship, I do appreciate the longevity of the season. I am now forced to dwell on Christmas for a month instead of just one day. As we focused on hope, joy, love, and peace each week, I tried to thoughtfully dwell on how Christ changes those verbs (?) for the world. Christians must look at joy and love differently than the world, right? How? How do I live this out?

Christ has come to redeem the world. How then shall we live?

These past two weeks have boldly affected my future-- my career, my living situation, and the way I want to live out my Christian faith. As I have repeatedly read through the Proverbs this semester, I have really witnessed Christ as my confidence, as he guides my path and prevents destruction of my own doing. In the midst of learning how to live redemptively, I have been thrown into "real life" at high speeds.

As I have needed to discern good career opportunities, pray for solid housing arrangements, and visit my long-distance community, I am learning what it means to live as Christ in these situations.

Christ has come to save the lost. How then shall we live? Christ has come to help the hurting. How then shall we live?

As I make an official move to Washington DC and start my first job with an ideal organization, I marvel at how perfectly orchestrated all of the arrangements have been. I can't help but think that God has ordained the "big things" of life, and now it is my responsibility to live Christianly in these circumstances. I have worked hard to place myself in the right places to get into the type of job I want, but I never thought something like IJM would come so soon-- I credit that to God. And now he is handing it over and saying "how then shall you live?"

I pray to live thankfully, hospitably, humbly, boldly, kindly.

As we finish the season of Advent, I hope to take the lessons I have learned during this time to my new life. Living in remembrance of the love, hope, joy, and peace of Christ.

Cheers. And Merry Christmas.

my cup overfloweth.

This Thursday I celebrate another American tradition. Today, however, I sit and reflect on something much greater than that: this life of abundance.

I was blessed to visit Midtown this past weekend and participated in a Thanksgiving prayer service. Though we did offer prayers of Thanksgiving as a community, we concentrated on God's faithfulness and prayed for lives of selflessness.

God's faithfulness. Such the stark contrast with our inept ability to live selflessly. Though, during this season in my life, I am most thankful for the people who have given me a glimpse of this enduring and deeply profound attribute of our God.

I celebrate life--new hope and new life given to friends near and far. I am thankful for the ability of my friends and family to grow and thrive in new surroundings and communities.

I celebrate sacrifice, especially as I realize what my family has done to provide stability and love through uncertainty.

I celebrate reunions. Maintaining faraway friendships proves difficult, but looking forward to the simple and sweet reunions bring joy during the mundane.

This season I celebrate energy and diligence. Thank you, Lord, for providing both to myself and others as we diligently try to discern your will.

I celebrate honesty and learning to love and grow in communities near and far.

New opportunities, new personalities, and new glimpses of the Kingdom fill my days. Yes, I am thankful.

Thank you to the dear friends who have challenged me to be more faithful, and who help me celebrate God Emmanuel.

Cheers.

mira!

A couple cool videos from the web.

I love having a little brother. I now know how plays rank on the Buehrle Meter.

Lady Gaga seriously knows what's up. Love this rendition.

An oldie, but Dove's Campaign For Beauty still intrigues me.

This is probably the most popular wedding video on the web right now.

Cheers!